Saturday, November 24, 2012


Being tired and posting on Facebook doesn’t always work out well...for example: I am the artistic director of a local theatre company and I often post on our Facebook page. I wrote the play called SMACKDOWN FOR THE CHRISTMAS CROWN, a silly funny and slightly off kilter play about a sister group, the Bobbies: Bobbie Sue, Bobbie Donna, Bobbie BooBoo etc and the Billys: Billy Bob, Billy Joe, Billy Willy etc, who compete for the Christmas Crown. It’s a fun show full of music, dancing and unabashed silliness. It’s for the whole family.
My typing is hairy at best and dangerous at worst. A clear and embarrassing reminder of this is the simple fact that tonight on Facebook I urged everyone to come and see the Billys and the BOOBIES this December! That’s right, I invited the public to see the Billys and the Mammaries perform a show. I was politely informed of my faux pas by a lovely patron of our little theatre company and I mea culpa-ed all over Facebook!
I considered taking the post down, but it made me laugh so hard, I cried. Plus, it’s a fine reminder that I need to proofread better. ( Not my forte! Just ask my buddy Jennifer M, she’s gasped at some of my bizarre spellings and unintentionally obnoxious mistakes.)
Being a writer, you’d think I’d know better...but that’s what great editors are for! Soooo, if anyone can find another gaping mistake, let me know and I will name a character after you in one of my books! This will keep me on my toes and relieve me of having to come up with character names...because I will promise you I will screw up grammatically on a regular basis!
Check out my website, I’m sure I f%$&ed that up too!!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. No presents, no baskets, no inappropriate stories and behavior from relatives....wait, I take back the last “no.” I’m always game for a good insult or breakdown.
I enjoy eating myself into a coma and yelling at my brothers about politics and football and anything else I know will set them off! (Actually, I adore my brothers, but a good argument is a good argument...) Many important pieces of wisdom have been passed down through the years at my family’s Thanksgiving celebrations.
My dad always has something of interest to relay. Like when we were in high school and he informed us, “If you’re going to lie, you better be pretty fucking smart. It’s a lot harder to remember lies than the truth.” Or the drinking and driving tid-bit, “You don’t have to worry about the police, because if I catch you drinking and diving...I own your ass and your drivers license till you move out of this house.” And people wonder where my language came from...
The family football game, also known as the Turkey Bowl, has become more dangerous for those of us over 40. Although, that never occurs to anyone till the day after.
We also enjoy a game called “Let’s Tell Mom All Sorts of Illegal and Unsavory Things We Did in High School That She Had No Idea About.” Because we’re all 40ish, we feel safe, and her reactions are beyond awesome!
But seriously folks, I love Thanksgiving and I am so very grateful that I have a family that I adore and want to be with. They are loud and funny and loving...and they’re mine.
I am a very lucky girl.
Happy Thanksgiving to all! And it’s not a blog if I don’t pimp my book! HOW HARD CAN IT BE? is available for pre-sale on Amazon and B&N! Check out my website and sign up for the newsletter. The second chapter is coming out soon!!!!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Holy Crap!!!! My first literary review evaahh! It’s amazing. I’m not related to the gal who reviewed me and I don’t even know her! Therefore, proving to sweet baby Moses in a thong and everyone else (with or without a thong) that I didn’t pay her or bribe her in any way.

I was on my Goodreads sight, updating my release date. (it’s changed from the 13th to the 17th) and I realized I had a review. Review sites and reviewers have access to ARCs. (advanced reader copies) As an actor, I rarely read reviews. I told myself I would be the same about my books...I lied.

I opened the review and held my breath...I read it and then I read it again and then again. (kind of the same thing I did with the EPT stick) If I could find that gal, I’d bend her over and kiss her ass. The review rocked!
Because I’m a dork, I will probably copy that review and frame it (actually I already did). Trust me when I say I will receive some harsh reviews. I am a full service offender and if someone is easily offended...well you know.

That being said, what I right is funny and romantic too! I write like I speak and I really do have lots of friends. While my sailor mouth might make my mom cringe (it does), it hasn’t stopped me from having meaningfully profane relationships with many people.

If you’d like to read the review, you can go to my website and hit the Goodreads “g” on my home page. It will take you to the site and you can see what made me want to smooch a butt!
Go to and share my delirious and out of control joy!!! (in a thong)

Thursday, November 8, 2012


HOW HARD CAN IT BE? hasn’t come out yet, but there is major interest from LA in making it into a movie!! Of course, I was in the LA show business scene for years and the chance of all the stars being aligned correctly and my book actually becoming a movie are slim....but stranger things have happened!
The most exciting part is that they want me to take a pass at the script! One of the things the LA dudes liked was my voice and they fear losing my voice if someone else writes it. Sooo, being of sound body and questionable mind I told them noooo problem. Can I do it? I have no freakin’ clue. Am I going to do it? You bet you sweet ass I am!
Although to be fair, I read hundreds of scripts (because of my super hot hubby) and am very familiar with screen writing (didn’t want you to think the LA dudes were on crack) I’m not an unknown risk for them!
My entire theory as an author thus far has been “I’ve got nothing to lose.” So far, so good...I lied about having a finished manuscript and ended up with a two book deal. I don’t really recommend that to anyone unless you want to get sick, but it did work for me.
I think the hardest part of turning my book into a screenplay will be taking a 350 page novel down to a 100 page script. I feel slightly married to what I wrote and giving up characters and scenes will fell like cutting off body parts...necessary body parts (Not my thighs or my butt, I’d be delighted to get rid of some of that. Although drinking Coke Zero Cherry has made my butt and I best friends again.) I do realize there are far worse problems to have.
Soooo, I’m gonna do it! I’m going to write something I’ve never written and see what the hell happens! At least I didn’t lie. Lying is too hard. It’s far easier to remember the truth. So along with keeping you updated on the two books coming out, I'll regale you with horror stories of my new script writing venture! Thanks for sticking around and check out my website   
Don’t forget HOE HARD CAN IT BE? comes out 1-13-13!!! For the first chapter, go to my website! And if you want more sign up for my news letter! I’ll be posting the second chapter at the end of November.

Thursday, November 1, 2012


At my age I thought I was done blowing babies out, but Writing a book is very similar to having a baby. You flirt with an idea (hit on guy), decide it’s a good idea (suss out that he’s not married or a total loser), write the first draft (date for a while), love the first draft (do the nasty), realize that you’re going to make the book happen (oh shit, the test stick is pink), write and rewrite and rewrite (morning sickness...eating everything in the house...threaten to kill your guy because he brought home a pizza without mushrooms on it), and then you finish the book (blow out a seventeen pound baby with teeth and hair).
The pain and joy and angst and weight gain (in my case, weight loss due to my giving up my beloved Coke...the drink, not the drug), was all worth it. I’m slightly blind and my fingers are stumps, but I figure a week or two break will suffice. You might feel a bit sad (postpartum depression), but you feel like you’ve climbed a mountain! You hope your baby will make friends (fans) and be very popular (sell like mofo). And then it’s back to the bar to troll for another guy (idea for next book). Of course, I don’t troll...being happily married kind of puts the kabosh on that, but I’m speaking metaphorically.
Now, because I’m a hooker, I’d like to guide you to my website You can read the first chapter of my first baby HOW HARD CAN IT BE? coming out January 13, 2013 and see a blurb on the baby I just blew out, tentatively titled SHE LIKES THEM BIG AND HAIRY!
If you want more of HOW HARD CAN IT BE?, sign up for my newsletter (the envelope icon on the Home and Contact page) I’ll be putting out the second chapter this month!