Thursday, December 27, 2012


 How Hard Can it Be (On the Prairie?)

Welcome to News Year’s Eve! A time for family, hot cocoa by the warm hearth, and listening to Pa play Auld Lang Syne on his fiddle soft and low for Ma, Mary and me while we knit warm woolen socks, brush each other’s hair and dream of only good things in our little house.

Yeah. Right.

Laura Ingalls Wilder and I have a different take on New Years Eve. While Laura is sipping cocoa, I’m chugging White Trash Yumminess (also known as Mike’s Hard Lemonade!) while lamenting over the shear volume of pecan brittle (courtesy of my mother-in-law) I’ve consumed that added to my ass. Not to mention the fact I didn’t send Christmas cards again this year, which all lands me squarely on the Naughty List.

Yes, New Years’s Eve was a simpler time on the prairie, or maybe we tend to torture ourselves more these days. I would like to point out that even though I write naughty and she wrote nice, Ms. Ingalls Wilder and I do have a few things in common. She writes the great wilderness scene and I write great sex scenes. Because of his seductive name, we will assume Almanzo, her husband, was smokin’ hot – like mine. And anyone who has “wild” as a part of their surname gets points in my book. Laura loved her family so much, she wrote about them. I love my family so much that I will never write about them. Finally, she’s a published author. I am a published author, HELL YEAH!*

That’s right. I am soon to be a published author, HELL YEAH!* and HOW HARD CAN IT BE? comes out January 17, 2013. The book is available for pre-sale right now at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Those links are provided below. If you’d like to help me crawl up the charts, go to Amazon and “like” my book. Then scroll to the bottom of my book page and tag it. It’s free and it will put my book high on the lists. You can also follow me on Facebook and Twitter if you’d like to see absurdity at its finest. I’m quite certain Laura pimped her book, just like I am, out on the prairie.

In all seriousness, I do love this time of year and amid the craziness that we always seem to create for ourselves, I always witness amazing kindnesses. So I will channel Laura Ingalls Wilder and say, focus on all the wonderful things in your life this season and be thankful. I am thankful for the wonderful family I have. I am thankful for the joy my children give me on Christmas morning. I am thankful for my mother-in-law’s pecan brittle which adds pounds to my ass. And, I am thankful my hot husband is an ass man.

Merry Christmas everyone. Buy my book.

*The New Author handbook states: It is expected and required for new authors to shout, “HELL YEAH!” after saying or writing the words, “published author.”

Check out my website! 
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"A zany over-the-top rompfest." – LEXI GEORGE, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar

You can pre-order at Amazon or Barnes and Noble!!!

Monday, December 3, 2012


I’m hoppin’ on the blog train! Never done it, but not knowing what I’m doing has never scared me in the least! But, I suppose you could be scared....Don’t be! I will not invoke the name of David Hasslehoff more than two or three or six times and I’ll keep my language PG13 because I’m promoting other people here too! David Hasslehoff. This blog is basically a legal pyramid scheme!! Authors are promoting authors. It’s a fantastic way to discover new writers and a great way for me to find new readers, or to alarm people. David Hasslehoff.
There are the books everyone has heard about: Twilight, Hunger Games, Fifty Shades of Gray. But what about all those books written by people you’ve never heard of? Some of them are treasures, just waiting to be found, and that’s what this blog hop is all about...the books you might not have heard about, but that you might end up loving. David Hasslehoff.
This blog hop is like a game of tag. One author posts and tags five other authors who link back to their website the next week and tag five new authors. If you follow the blog hop long enough, you’re bound to find some books you’ll love! David Hasslehoff. Maybe you’ll even discover a book that ends up being the next big thing.
I was tagged by Niecey Roy. You can learn more about her book Fender Bender Blues on her website Niecey is a terrific gal and a great writer. Make sure you check her out!!
I will be followed by JM Madden, a fabulous writer and dear friend. We are critique partners and I am lucky enough to get to read all her stuff early!! I love her and think you will too. Check her out on her website
This blog hop includes ten questions to help you learn more about an author’s current work in progress, so here’s a little info about my current project: 
1: What is the working title of your book? 
HOW HARD CAN IT BE? It comes out January 17th 2013 from Kensington Publishing and is available for pre-order now at Amazon and at Barnes and Noble

2: Where did the idea come from for the book? 
From the warped recesses of my mind! Actually I started it during NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) last year and then went to Romantic Times Convention and pitched it as a finished book. I lied. Big fat hairy lie... Eight different agencies and publishers asked for a full manuscript so I lied some more. Told them all I had to have it professionally edited (which meant write it) and I did. Three weeks later, after no sleep and an appalling lack of cooked food and clean underpants for my family, I submitted my book. I got several offers and went with Kensington!
3: What genre does your book fall under? Humorous Contemporary Romance
4: Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition? 
Funny you should ask. The book has been optioned for a film and I am writing the screenplay. I do have thoughts in my head, but I’m going to keep them inside my head just in case all the planets are aligned and it actually becomes a movie! Anything I write here could come back and bite me in the ass. 
5: What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? 
The best is a quote from one of my favorite authors, Michelle Rowen: "How Hard Can it Be? is outrageous, profane, hilarious, sexy, and all kinds of wacky. For a good time, read Robyn Peterman!" --Michelle Rowen, national bestselling author
6: Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
 My book is being put out by Kensington Publishing on their eline.
7: How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? 
Welllll, about one month, but I don’t recommend that, unless you’re insane.
8: What other books would you compare this story to within your genre? 
I don’t want to sound like an egotistical douche bag, so I’ll tell you what others have said. Best selling author Monette Michaels ( another huge favorite of mine) said this: “Loved this book. Funniest romantic comedy I've read since the first Stephanie Plum book. Janet Evanovich had better watch her six,'cause Robyn's writing is laugh-out-loud, snort-Pepsi-out-your-nose funny. Can't wait for the next book -- I hear the Abominable Snowman is involved.”
9: Who or What inspired you to write this book? 
I love to write and it’s been a long time dream of mine to become a published author. Sooo, I suppose I would have to say I finally got out of my own way and went for it!
10: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest? 
Here’s the back flap! See if it piques your interest!!!!
What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail—just to start with...
Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I’ve embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?
     Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn’t commit—by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I’ve found my calling after all...

Here is the list of authors who will be joining the hop for week 25 on December 12th. I hope you’ll visit their blogs next week and learn more about their books. Maybe one of them will become your new favorite author!
1 J M Madden