Saturday, September 29, 2012

Social Media For Idiots....

Social media scares the poop out of me. Because I have a book coming out, I have treaded into the deep and murky waters of Facebook, Twitter and Blogging. I’ve never blogged before, I’m really not that interesting. No one cares what I ate for lunch (a turkey sandwich) or what I’m going to do later (sit in front of my computer and type till I go blind).
Thank you Jesus for my friends Kris and Jennifer. I now can cut and paste...and, um...well I can cut and paste. I have written Facebook posts that have ended up in cyber-space somewhere, because they certainly didn’t go where I meant them to go.
My children think I’m challenged and my husband likened my computer prowess to teaching a ninety year old woman how to play Nintendo. (I plan on having his boxer briefs starched)
I am learning and getting better. I used to laugh about my lack of skill. Now? Not so much. I plan to continue to send posts out into cybersphere, praying to God, Buddha and all the NFL quarterbacks that they land in the correct place. I intend to blog about underpants and Chia pets and my book till I’m all pimped out. I promise to not talk about what I’m making for dinner (unless it’s disastrous) and I won’t talk about myself in third person. Ever.
I love to write. I love to make up funny, sexy, snarky romances. I walk around for months with people trapped inside my head and my only relief is to put them on paper. There have been some red-neck vampires living in there for a while, but first I have to finish the sequel to HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
Life is pretty damn good. I enjoy sitting in front of the computer in my husbands boxer briefs (not the starched ones) and writing. It’s an awesome job and I’m so happy to have it!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Breakin' up is hard to do

Is there ever really a good time to give up an addiction? Um...let me The answer is no. My addiction was Coke (the soda, not the drug). Beautiful, full sugared Coke in the sexy red can. We were so very close, too close according to the results of my blood sugar test. Sooooo, we parted ways. I’ve seen my former lover in the grocery store, the convenient store, in the vending machine where I work, and at every freakin’ fast food joint in my area. It makes my period of mourning slightly difficult.
I have found a new paramour, but I don’t love him as much as I did Coke. Of course, he’s related to Coke...his name is Coke Zero Cherry. Dating your former love’s cousin or brother or ugly step sibling can be rough. It can (and does) leave a bad taste in your mouth. I am told, in time, I will  love my new friend as much as I loved the other one...In time, I will think my old fling was syrupy and too sweet and just downright disgusting.
I don’t believe it. I know I will mourn the loss of Coke for eternity. We are star crossed lovers...not meant to be together in the end.
How in the hell does this relate to writing or my book? It doesn’t. I’ve never blogged before and I’ve already pimped myself blind on Facebook, so I thought I’d write about dating carbonated beverages. I do write romances, but all of mine have happy endings...not this one.
I will miss you, Coke. I know in time you will forget me, but we had a good run while it lasted....