Sunday, March 17, 2013

OUTLET MALL BUTT CLENCHING.....


Okay, so here’s the deal. (Pun intended, you’ll get it in a minute...)  When I see an outlet mall my butt clenches and I start to sweat. Not a pretty picture, but true nonetheless. I luuuurrrve outlet malls. Getting a great deal is right up there with the big O for me. My hot hubby is aware of this. He thinks I’m weird.
 I have had tons of luck in the wondrous land of the outlet, but I’ve also had some dingers! I do tend to waste gobs of money at the one stop deal-stravagansas.....I get so overwhelmed, I don’t even try stuff on. I still have a pile of unworn t-shirts from an unnamed store I love. I had no clue the seams were wonky and the freakin’ horse was upside down! All I could see was the ridiculously low price! Next time I swear I’ll wear my glasses. Or how about the pants I got? If I tried to walk, my ladybits got damaged.... Or the high end purse I bought in such a rush, I didn’t realize it smelled kind of off....
What in the hell is the point of all this??? Weeeellllll, I have a deal for you! The seams are straight and the horse is standing upright. Your ladybits are not in danger and it smells awesome!
HOW HARD CAN IT BE? is on sale for a short time!!! SQUEEEEEEE! It’s only $1.99 at most of the retailers where it’s on sale. If you don’t already have it, snap it up quick before it goes back to original price! And if you do already have it tell your friends! They too can learn room clearing nicknames for the male anatomy and laugh till they snort Coke (the drink, not the drug) out of their nose!
Romantic Times Magazine gave it 4 Stars!! (I almost peed my pants over that one) 
The reviews have been rockin’ and I’m still so excited it’s embarrassing! 
Thank you to all of the terrifically warped readers who are now following my every move....
Thank you to all you guys that are reading HOW HARD CAN IT BE? Thanks for leaving great reviews for me on Goodreads and Amazon and Barnes and Noble and all the other sites you've bought it from!
Thank you to my new readers who think my characters are actually real people and have written me to find out what they're doing now.
Thank you to the gal who has offered me her children to get to read Kristy's story before it comes out!
Thank you to the lady who wrote me and told me I should wash my mouth out with soap while promising to read everything I ever write!
Thank you to the woman who asked me if I'd spent time in an institution, because my brain was so warped! She also promised to read everything I ever write! 
Enough of that....just Thank you! Please keep reading!
FASHIONABLY DEAD comes out the end of May and Kristy's story (tentatively titled, SHE LIKES THEM BIG AND HAIRY) comes out in December!!!! 


HOW HARD CAN IT BE? is available, ON SALE, at these awesome sites!!!

and


Come visit me at my website and sign up for my newsletter!!! New chapters and giveaways coming soon!!! YEEHAW!
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Monday, March 4, 2013

MARCH MADNESS BLOG HOP!!! YEEEHAAAW!


Welcome to March Madness! A time for basketball and and green beer and warmer weather...and a bunch of rockin’ cool authors doing a fantabulous blog hop!!! AND PRIZES!!!!

 Each day during the hop March 5th to the 31st, I will pick the funniest comment left on my blog and put your name in a hat. (I'm serious) At the end of the month I will give away 5 copies of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? and 4 $20.00 Amazon gift cards!!! You can reply daily and end up stuffed in a hat more than once. I will draw the winner in my underpants. (it's my favorite way to write...) Good luck and enjoy the hop!!! Don't forget to check out the raffle copter giveaway at the bottom...MORE PRIZES!!!!

SQEEEHAW O'MIGHTY!!!!! Read on to find out how lying pays off...... 
The crazy, mixed-up tale of how my first
book came to be – also known as, WTF? 
I'm getting published.

I’ve been asked how I got published. The answer is simple...I lied. That’s right, I lied.
I wouldn’t recommend it, although it worked for me. It certainly could have blown up in my face, but wether it was sheer will and determination or dumb luck, I’ll never know. Here’s how it went...
     I pitched a very unfinished novel (as if it were done) to major NY publishers and agents at the Romantic Times writers conference in Chicago last April. I was shocked, delighted and appalled that everyone I pitched to asked for a full manuscript of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? After a brief and hopefully unnoticeable panic attack, I very logically explained to them that I needed to get the book professionally edited (real meaning--write it) and would have it to them in three weeks. What the hell did I have to lose? My sanity had been gone for years.
     Having been an actor for umpteen decades came in handy. Clearly, pretending to smell delicious imaginary aromas in commercial auditions and becoming one with my inner lawn gnome in acting class, made my fear of telling ginormous lies nonexistent.
     The next part of the story goes like this...I went home and wrote it. I didn’t sleep for three weeks, my family ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly and no one in the house had any clean underpants. I loved every minute of it. I ended up with several offers and went with a two book deal with Kensington Publishing.
    That’s my crazy story, but the real answer to getting published is to write. Just write. Everyday. Every writer I’ve had the good fortune to know says the same thing. Oh, and read...tons.

And the story gets better!!!! 

Cut to last week....Just found out I got a 4 Star review for HOW HARD CAN IT BE? in RT Magazine!!! I screamed when my publisher sent me a congrats! RT (Romantic Times) is, of course, where it all started for me. The wonderful and magical place where I pitched the big fat hairy lie that turned into a two book deal with Kensington! 

Thank you to my new readers who think my characters are actually real people and have written me to find out what they're doing now.
Thank you to the gal who has offered me her children to get to read the sequel story before it comes out next December!
Thank you to the lady who wrote me and told me I should wash my mouth out with soap while promising to read everything I ever write!
Thank you to the woman who asked me if I'd spent time in an institution, because my brain was so warped! She also promised to read everything I ever write! 
Enough of that....just Thank you! Please keep reading!
FASHIONABLY DEAD, my first snarky, sexy paranormal comes out the end of April!!!! Stay tuned to my website, the first chapter will be going up soon!




"A zany over-the-top rompfest." – LEXI GEORGE, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar



You can order HOW HARD CAN IT BE? at these awesome places!!








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