Tuesday, October 7, 2014

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I'M GONNA BE A FREAKIN' TELETUBBY, DAMNIT.

SHOULD I BE A TELETUBBY?Hmmmmm...

I have debated with myself for days—mostly in private, but I did realize I was babbling to myself at the grocery the other day. It was Wednesday—Senior Citizens Day. I was slightly less self-conscious when I realized most of the people in the store were all mumbling to themselves. I will now only shop on Wednesdays. 

My debate has centered around my “not fun” status. I have been told that I am boring by my kids because I don’t dress up for Halloween. Isn’t it enough that I get their damn costumes and candy and pumpkins and bloody trolls and monsters for the yard??? Not to mention the grave stones and headless things that give me nightmares. Clearly not. I shall fight this unfair assessment. I will dress up and embarrass the hell out of them this year.

Their Dad is the fun one…However, I’m the one they come to when they are sick or need help with homework (even though I’m useless when it comes to Algebra) or to ask about the birds and bees or when they can’t find something or if they’re hungry or etc… Thankfully, they seem to be fine with the fact I talk out loud to the invisible people from my books all the time. I’m sure this will lead them into therapy at some stage of their lives…

Often they have to clarify if I’m talking about a real person or a fictional one. BUT, I must point out that same question is relevant for their actor father. We pride ourselves on being a little odd. Weird is a compliment in our family. 

Sooooo, back to my dilemma—what to be for Halloween…I have considered a Teletubby, the purple one of course. I have imagined myself as the Pink Power Ranger or Dora the Explorer. All of these options would mortify my children. Elmo would send them running for cover. 

So many choices. So many ways to make them see the error of their thoughts about their “not fun” mom. They assume I will choose to be a Vampire because of my obsession with the paranormal, but that’s too easy. Typical I am not. I have also mulled the thought of becoming Bob the Builder, but that show could drive anyone to drink. However, Caiou would make me tear my own head off and eat it. 

I believe I will be a Teletubby. I will get tons of pictures hugging and tackling my children in my ginormous purple suit. I will talk like a Teletubby for the entire evening and I will dance as we go from house to house. I feel good about my decision. 
Five bucks says that they will beg me to never dress up again.
Happy Halloween. 

If you want some Spooky Sexy reading, check out the Hot Damned Series!!!! There are no Teletubbies in it. 

xoxo Robyn 


FASHIONABLY DEAD DOWN UNDER


HELL ON HEELS
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2 comments:

  1. CherriOctober 7, 2014 at 3:19 PM

    LOL! I so want to see that! You need someone to follow with a video camera. I would pay money to see it. LOL I LOVE paranormal stuff, hate Halloween! Go figure. :)

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