OUTLET MALL BUTT CLENCHING.....

Okay, so here’s the deal. (Pun intended, you’ll get it in a minute...)  When I see an outlet mall my butt clenches and I start to sweat. Not a pretty picture, but true nonetheless. I luuuurrrve outlet malls. Getting a great deal is right up there with the big O for me. My hot hubby is aware of this. He thinks I’m weird.

 I have had tons of luck in the wondrous land of the outlet, but I’ve also had some dingers! I do tend to waste gobs of money at the one stop deal-stravagansas.....I get so overwhelmed, I don’t even try stuff on. I still have a pile of unworn t-shirts from an unnamed store I love. I had no clue the seams were wonky and the freakin’ horse was upside down! All I could see was the ridiculously low price! Next time I swear I’ll wear my glasses. Or how about the pants I got? If I tried to walk, my ladybits got damaged.... Or the high end purse I bought in such a rush, I didn’t realize it smelled kind of off....

What in the hell is the point of all this??? Weeeellllll, I have a deal for you! The seams are straight and the horse is standing upright. Your ladybits are not in danger and it smells awesome!

HOW HARD CAN IT BE? is on sale for a short time!!! SQUEEEEEEE! It’s only $1.99 at most of the retailers where it’s on sale. If you don’t already have it, snap it up quick before it goes back to original price! And if you do already have it tell your friends! They too can learn room clearing nicknames for the male anatomy and laugh till they snort Coke (the drink, not the drug) out of their nose!

Romantic Times Magazine gave it 4 Stars!! (I almost peed my pants over that one) 

The reviews have been rockin’ and I’m still so excited it’s embarrassing! 

Thank you to all of the terrifically warped readers who are now following my every move....

Thank you to all you guys that are reading HOW HARD CAN IT BE? Thanks for leaving great reviews for me on Goodreads and Amazon and Barnes and Noble and all the other sites you've bought it from!

Thank you to my new readers who think my characters are actually real people and have written me to find out what they're doing now.

Thank you to the gal who has offered me her children to get to read Kristy's story before it comes out!

Thank you to the lady who wrote me and told me I should wash my mouth out with soap while promising to read everything I ever write!

Thank you to the woman who asked me if I'd spent time in an institution, because my brain was so warped! She also promised to read everything I ever write! 

Enough of that....just Thank you! Please keep reading!

FASHIONABLY DEAD comes out the end of May and Kristy's story (tentatively titled, SHE LIKES THEM BIG AND HAIRY) comes out in December!!!! 

HOW HARD CAN IT BE? is available, ON SALE, at these awesome sites!!!

http://www.amazon.com/How-Hard-Can-Be-ebook/dp/B009T9SCRG/ref=la_B00A7D7DPA_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352920534&sr=1-1

and

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-hard-can-it-be-robyn-peterman/1113633561?ean=9781601830623

Come visit me at my website and sign up for my newsletter!!! New chapters and giveaways coming soon!!! YEEHAW!

http://www.robynpeterman.com/

MARCH MADNESS BLOG HOP!!! YEEEHAAAW!

Welcome to March Madness! A time for basketball and and green beer and warmer weather...and a bunch of rockin’ cool authors doing a fantabulous blog hop!!! AND PRIZES!!!!

Each day during the hop March 5th to the 31st, I will pick the funniest comment left on my blog and put your name in a hat. (I'm serious) At the end of the month I will give away 5 copies of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? and 4 $20.00 Amazon gift cards!!! You can reply daily and end up stuffed in a hat more than once. I will draw the winner in my underpants. (it's my favorite way to write...) Good luck and enjoy the hop!!! Don't forget to check out the raffle copter giveaway at the bottom...MORE PRIZES!!!!

SQEEEHAW O'MIGHTY!!!!! Read on to find out how lying pays off...... 

The crazy, mixed-up tale of how my first

book came to be – also known as, WTF? 

I'm getting published.

I’ve been asked how I got published. The answer is simple...I lied. That’s right, I lied.
I wouldn’t recommend it, although it worked for me. It certainly could have blown up in my face, but wether it was sheer will and determination or dumb luck, I’ll never know. Here’s how it went...
     I pitched a very unfinished novel (as if it were done) to major NY publishers and agents at the Romantic Times writers conference in Chicago last April. I was shocked, delighted and appalled that everyone I pitched to asked for a full manuscript of HOW HARD CAN IT BE? After a brief and hopefully unnoticeable panic attack, I very logically explained to them that I needed to get the book professionally edited (real meaning--write it) and would have it to them in three weeks. What the hell did I have to lose? My sanity had been gone for years.
     Having been an actor for umpteen decades came in handy. Clearly, pretending to smell delicious imaginary aromas in commercial auditions and becoming one with my inner lawn gnome in acting class, made my fear of telling ginormous lies nonexistent.
     The next part of the story goes like this...I went home and wrote it. I didn’t sleep for three weeks, my family ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly and no one in the house had any clean underpants. I loved every minute of it. I ended up with several offers and went with a two book deal with Kensington Publishing.
    That’s my crazy story, but the real answer to getting published is to write. Just write. Everyday. Every writer I’ve had the good fortune to know says the same thing. Oh, and read...tons.

And the story gets better!!!! 

Cut to last week....Just found out I got a 4 Star review for HOW HARD CAN IT BE? in RT Magazine!!! I screamed when my publisher sent me a congrats! RT (Romantic Times) is, of course, where it all started for me. The wonderful and magical place where I pitched the big fat hairy lie that turned into a two book deal with Kensington! 

Thank you to my new readers who think my characters are actually real people and have written me to find out what they're doing now.

Thank you to the gal who has offered me her children to get to read the sequel story before it comes out next December!

Thank you to the lady who wrote me and told me I should wash my mouth out with soap while promising to read everything I ever write!

Thank you to the woman who asked me if I'd spent time in an institution, because my brain was so warped! She also promised to read everything I ever write! 

Enough of that....just Thank you! Please keep reading!

FASHIONABLY DEAD, my first snarky, sexy paranormal comes out the end of April!!!! Stay tuned to my website, the first chapter will be going up soon!

"How Hard Can it Be? is outrageous, profane, hilarious, sexy, and all kinds of wacky.

For a good time, read Robyn Peterman!" – MICHELLE ROWEN, national bestselling author

"A zany over-the-top rompfest." – LEXI GEORGE, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar

You can order HOW HARD CAN IT BE? at these awesome places!!

http://www.amazon.com/How-Hard-Can-Be-ebook/dp/B009T9SCRG/ref=la_B00A7D7DPA_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352920534&sr=1-1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-hard-can-it-be-robyn-peterman/1113633561?ean=9781601830623

https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-hard-can-it-be/id572027268?mt=11

https://ebookstore.sony.com/author/robyn-peterman_459840

http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/How-Hard-Can-It-Be/book-xuyKoZKBDUesB170Mqm-Pg/page1.html

Come visit me on:

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Robyn-Peterman/418985661472374?ref=hl

My website http://www.robynpeterman.com

And Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6545317.Robyn_Peterman

a Rafflecopter giveaway

GENITALS ON FIRE???? Noooo, Pens on Fire!!!!

Ooookay, several friends thought this said Penis on Fire.....when I first saw it, I did too. BUT IT'S NOT!! That would be awkward and unpleasant and illegal. It's Pens...Pens on Fire and I will be there. I encourage all of you in the area to come and see if I can get through talking about HOW HARD CAN IT BE? without saying any potty words. I can. Yes, I can.
There will be some cool authors joining me and people will be signing their book. I will sign your Kindle or your Nook or your hand or your left butt cheek. Kidding! I think that might be illegal. If you're interested you can follow the link below and sign up!

http://woodfordcountylibrary.com/EventDetail.asp?CalID=1443&varDate=2%2F23%2F2013

If you haven't read HOW HARD CAN IT BE? get a copy and I will challenge you to the pork sword game! Don't ask unless you really want to know......

Buy My Book!!!
http://www.amazon.com/How-Hard-Can-Be-ebook/dp/B009T9SCRG/ref=la_B00A7D7DPA_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352920534&sr=1-1

BOOTIE SHORTS AND CORSETS........

DRESSING UP CAN FREE YOUR INNER (FILL IN THE BLANK...)

I just bought a corset, bootie shorts, fish nets and a tutu....and I’m planning on wearing these items in public. Have I lost my mind? Clearly, yes. BUT, I didn’t pick this ensemble out...my super hot hubby did. Thank you Jesus on a moped that he still finds it necessary to dress me up like a hooker! Apparently my sweat pants aren’t sexy.... 

I’m not wearing this to drop my kids off at school. Nope, I’m wearing it through the streets of New Orleans on Mardi Gras Day! Thankfully there will be people looking even scarier than I do!

I will let my inner-hooker free and wander with my family (who will also be wigged and decked out) through the wildly forgiving streets of NOLA!!!! My wig is royal blue, my daughter’s is lime green and my son’s is wild brown sausage curls (tucked underneath an awesome pirate hat). Of course, hot hubby will be in a powder wig!!!

Yes, I will take pictures. And No, I probably won’t post them....

What, you may ask does this have to do with writing? Actually, a lot.....in a round about way! New Orleans is where I first started writing for real. This magical, crazy city inspires me like no other. I am obsessed with the cemeteries and the people and the food....There’s a feeling I get when I’m down here, like anything is possible. It’s the same feeling I have on a crisp fall evening. The kind that smells and feels like a high school football game...or twilight in New York on a perfect Spring day. 

Since I’m deeply ensconced in my Vampires right now, I’m in the best place I could be. Mardi Gras and looking like a hooker are just a bonus!

If you haven’t read HOW HARD CAN IT BE? check it out! Reviews are rockin’ and I’m so proud and excited is embarrassing! I’ll be posting chapter one from FASHIONABLY DEAD on my website soon. It is coming out the end of April!!!! 

Go Buy My Book and let your own inner hooker fly free....it feels great!

http://www.amazon.com/How-Hard-Can-Be-ebook/dp/B009T9SCRG/ref=la_B00A7D7DPA_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352920534&sr=1-1

 

Check out my website!! My Twitter feed is on it now.

http://www.robynpeterman.com/

MEET COOL CHICKIE AND AUTHOR, NIECEY ROY!!

MEET ANOTHER ONE OF MY AUTHOR BUDDIES TODAY! HER NAME IS NIECEY ROY AND SHE'S GOT A BRAND NEW ROCKIN' BOOK OUT CALLED "FENDER BENDER BLUES"

Authors are some of the most generous and fun people I know! A cool way to meet new ones is through blogs of authors you already enjoy. Niecey and I became friends on Facebook (of all random things) and realized we had a ton in common. We were both debut authors with books coming out very close to each other. Niecey is a great talent and a cool chick! Check out her new book, FENDER BENDER BLUES, and learn a little about her on my blog today!

How does it feel to be a published author? 

Kinda like I was just elected President of the United States sans the media circus and headache. Plus, I’m pretty sure being a published author is way more fun than being President. He can’t say the F word. That would suck. 

Why do you enjoy writing contemporary romance? 

Contemporary romance is real. Well, besides the fictional part. But it’s more real than writing about werewolves (not saying I’ll never write about werewolves, I might!). I can relate to the characters I write about. 

How did you start writing? 

I wrote my first little story in the third grade, a murder/mystery. In my story, someone off-ed our teacher in a burglary gone bad and it was my job to find the jerk. Of course, I was a third grader and not being a hero wasn’t an option, so in my story, I solved the mystery. I then quickly moved on to poetry full of teenager angst and unrequited love. Eeekkkk. ’Nuff said. 

What do you do for writer’s block? 

I don’t know, stress a little, drink a beer, put my feet up, chew a million sunflower seeds… I don’t get writer’s block very often. My “blockage” comes from having too many ideas in my head and not being able to settle on one thing to write. It’s an issue. 

Where do you get your ideas? 

Every day life. I have a goofball husband, some hilarious friends, and I’m kind of a goofball myself. That’s why I write contemporary romantic comedy. The ideas are always flowing. 

What’s next for you?

I’m just concentrating on writing contemporary for the moment. I have a YA paranormal romance I’ve been brainstorming, and a sci-fi futuristic romance I’ve wanted to do for a few years. 

If you weren’t a writer what would you be? 

At one time I thought I’d be a lawyer. Working for one makes me realize how much I do not want to be a lawyer. So I’m glad I never followed through with that one. I’m content to be the legal assistant, but mostly because I can still write while doing it. Now, if I absolutely could not write and I didn’t have to worry about money, I’d be an artist. I used to paint. I don’t have time for it now. 

What inspires you most? 

My kids. I want to be successful for them. Selling books means I can send them to college. 

What makes you laugh? Cry? 

My kids. Every day they make me laugh. Thinking of anything that might harm them makes me cry. 

Favorite word? 

Fuck. I say it a lot, even when I’m trying not to. Ugh. It’s a serious problem. 

Favorite color? 

Bright shades of blue, like aqua, azure and turquoise. 

Favorite food? 

Supreme pizza. 

Favorite bad word? 

Fuck. Again, I say it a lot. Especially when I’m drinking. I’m blaming it on my dad. He was a Navy sailor. 

Favorite movie? 

You know, this is a really tough question. But a movie I really love and enjoy watching always is The Secret Garden, the one filmed in 1993. Obviously, I am a romantic, which to me means I also have to love gorgeous English rose gardens, right? Of course! I always said I’d have a garden like on The Secret Garden. Still working on it. I’m thinking it might take me a lifetime, ha! 

Favorite book from childhood? 

I loved Anne of Green Gables. 

Favorite book now? 

I honestly don’t have a favorite book. I like so many books. I have found I love everything written by Patricia Cornwell. She’s my favorite author, and I devour her books. 

What authors inspire you? 

Ah! Answered that above. Patricia Cornwell. If she were here, we’d probably fist pump. She’s cool like that. 

Thanks for having me today, Robyn! And if you don’t mind, I’d like to share a blurb for my debut, humorous contemporary romance, Fender Bender Blues. 

Niecey’s back cover blurb!!!

FENDER BENDER BLUES

Her life took a wrong turn. He's driven by success. They didn't count on crashing into love...

Rachel Bennett loved her job until the day she finds herself doubting her choices.  Now she's hunting for a new career, but starting over isn't easy.  Her plan is simple—no distractions until she finds her dream job.  She didn't plan on fate throwing her a curveball in the form of a fender bender with a sexy guy in an expensive suit.

Craig Larsen is a wealthy, successful business owner with a plan of his own: survive his current PR nightmare and stay away from his overly determined ex-girlfriend.  His need for control and personal success is turned upside down when he meets Rach, a sassy redhead who can't drive.

Soon they find themselves battling with Rach's grumpy old neighbor, toilet-papering the trees of a high school nemesis, and fighting over the last slice of pizza.  Can two very different people plus one fender bender equal a chance at forever?

Here’s the info on how to contact Niecey and how to buy her book! Buy her Book at Amazon!!!

Niecey Roy

Fender Bender Blues, a romantic comedy

January 24, 2013 exclusive Amazon digital release

Coming May 3, 2013 everywhere

published by Wild Rose Press

nieceyroy@gmail.com

http://www.nieceyroy.com/

http://www.facebook.com/NieceyRoyRomanceAuthor

https://twitter.com/#!/NieceyRoy

http://www.amazon.com/Fender-Bender-Blues-ebook/dp/B00B5L71YQ/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1

MY GUEST, AMY DURHAM!!! SQUEEEEE!

I am a very lucky girl. I happen to be in a writing group with amazing and talented women. I’d like to introduce you to one of these awesome gals! Her name is Amy Durham and she is a rockin’ author of Young Adult fiction. I read her latest release and it was wonderful. It’s called ONCE AND AGAIN and today you can meet her and learn a little about her and then....you can go buy her book!!

First of all, thanks Robyn for inviting me over to your corner of the blogosphere! I’m reading “How Hard Can it Be?” right now and laughing out loud every other second or so! I really appreciate the chance to come and share a bit of my work with your readers.

Why do you enjoy writing YA?

I LOVE reading and writing YA. I kind of fell into it by accident, but I feel like my abilities are best used in YA. I love that when I’m writing I’m transported back to those years. I can revisit the exuberance of youth, relive the emotional “high” of first love, and remember the fun times! I also love looking back on high school as an adult, with all the knowledge and experienced I’ve gained in the years (And NO, I’m not telling how many!) since I graduated! YA spans generations, and I love that I can talk about my book or any other YA book with the students I see every day at school. 

What do you do for writers block? 

Read. Always. Nothing gets my own creative forces moving again like reading something amazing… or even something not so amazing. It makes me want to dig back and make my own story happen!

Your imagination is wonderful! Where do you get your ideas? 

Oh gosh… I don’t even know. These people just show up in my head and start interacting and talking and being attracted to each other… and I just sort of go along for the ride! I know that sounds crazy, but it’s pretty close to the truth! The seed of a story usually starts with a couple of characters and the hint of a relationship or a conflict between them. Then my mind starts filling in the blanks. I “plot” a lot at night when I’m going to sleep. Stories “percolate” in my brain that way for months (most of the time) before I start writing them, and at any given time I’ve got about five of those going on!

What’s next for you? 

I’m writing another YA Paranormal Romance titled “Dusk”. “Once And For All”, my current release is book two in my Sky Cove Series (“Once Again” is book one.), but I’m departing from Sky Cove for a bit to finish “Dusk”. It’s about halfway finished and features a hero who’s a bit more than human!

If you weren’t a writer what would you be? 

A chef. For sure. Cooking is my “other” creative outlet. I’m addicted to Food Network. I want to be Iron Chef Alex Guarnaschelli when I grow up!

What inspires you most?

Love. I’m a sap. I admit it. Two people falling in love fascinates me! What’s more complex and amazing and satisfying than that?

 What makes you laugh?

Most recently… “Duck Dynasty” on A&E.  And your book, of course, Robyn!

 Favorite word?

Am I allowed to say it here? Ha! No really, I’ve never really thought about it, but I really love the word “myriad”. Life is full of possibilities, and I think the word “myriad” describes that beautifully.

Favorite color?

Blue

Favorite food?

There are so many! These days it’s gumbo. We went to New Orleans on vacation in 2011. My oldest son fell in love with gumbo, so when we got home, I learned how to make it. And now everybody loves it!

Favorite bad word?

Whichever one happens to pop out when I stump my toe really hard!

Favorite movie?

When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill, and P.S. I Love You

Favorite book from childhood? 

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

Favorite book now? 

My favorite books are “Fair Haven” by JoAnn Ross and “Jewels of the Sun” by Nora Roberts. My favorite book I’ve read recently is “Hopeless” by Colleen Hoover.

What authors inspire you?

Rachel Vincent, Tiffany King, Nyrae Dawn, and Jessica Sorenson. All of these are YA authors. Rachel Vincent writes kicking YA urban fantasy. Tiffany King, Nyrae Dawn, and Jessica Sorenson all write realistic, gritty YA, sometimes dealing with heavy, relevant topic like abuse, suicide, weight issues, etc.

Here’s Amy back cover blurb from ONCE AND AGAIN

What happens when 180 pounds of football star collides with 105 pounds of art geek?

An ancient curse springs to life, of course.

Phoebe Campbell is anything but popular. Todd Miller is the epitome of the high school jock. Their socially opposite worlds collide when they are paired to work together on a project for art class. Attempting to cooperate for the sake of their assignment, Todd and Phoebe begin to look past preconceived notions and see each other for who they truly are. As genuine feelings begin to develop between them, they find themselves plagued by dangerous shape-shifting episodes and unexplained telepathic connections. 

In order to stop the mysterious occurrences, Phoebe and Todd are forced into a mission to uncover the truth. In their quest, they discover unsettling stories that hint at a previous existence, and also clues to an ancient curse that has never been broken.

Can they learn to love each other despite the typical high school social expectations? And will their love be the key that breaks the ancient curse once and for all? 

Here’s how to connect with my buddy Amy and where to buy her amazing new book!!! Buy Her Book!!

Contact Amy online:

amybdurham@gmail.com

www.amydurham.com

www.facebook.com/AuthorAmyDurham

twitter.com/Amy_Durham

Find ONCE AND FOR ALL at:

AMAZON

http://www.amazon.com/Once-And-Cove-Series-ebook/dp/B00B8XQKV6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359728668&sr=8-1&keywords=once+and+for+all+amy+durham

B&N

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/once-and-for-all-amy-durham/1114281179?ean=2940015988963&isbn=2940015988963

ALL ROMANCE EBOOKS

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-onceandforall-1052013-140.html

SMASHWORDS

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/281080

KOBO

http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Once-And-For-All/book-9G7Daf9eVk-sTgAbw5Qm_g/page1.html?s=fbQjWdlp1UCX7TdkDKjz-A&r=2

OMG, IT'S ALIVE......

HOW HARD CAN IT BE? came out January 17th and I’m still pinching myself everyday! The simple fact that at forty-blah-blah-blah dreams can still come true is astounding.

The reviews are great and the two bad ones are really stinkin’ bad! I am a full service offender and have clearly offended a few readers sensibilities.... My Dad always said, “Make them love you or hate you...don’t let them forget you.” With my warped brand of humor I’m taking his advice seriously! 

Exciting news is that the screen play for HHCIB? is done! It’s off to LaLa land and we will see what happens. I kind of fear the reaction, but they know what their getting, they optioned the book in the first place! Jim (my screen writing partner) and I had a hell of a time making cuts. Actually, I had a hard time making cuts...Jim had to deal with a whiney pouty pain in the assmonkey (me).

The other squeehaw news is that my first paranormal, FASHIONABLY DEAD, will be released at the end of April! I luuurve me some vamps and I hope you guys are ready for some sexy, snarky, undead hotties! I’ll be posting chapters on my website soon.

I’ve also become addicted to Scrabble on line. Thank you Jim, you suck.

Here’s the teaser for HOW HARD CAN IT BE? for those of you that haven’t read it yet. And if you haven’t read it yet....Buy my book.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Hard-Can-Be-ebook/dp/B009T9SCRG/ref=la_B00A7D7DPA_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352920534&sr=1-1

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Ten feet away stood the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life. More beautiful than my new neighbor, Mr. Fine-ass. I felt light-headed and realized I’d ceased to breathe. Sandy blond hair, full lips, eyelashes that belonged on a girl, and a build like a brick shithouse. He didn’t fit in here. His jeans and dark gray T-shirt covered by a rockin’ black leather bomber were hotter than hot. He was holding a folder and kept glancing at it. No ring on his left hand. Aces! He looked about thirty-five or so. Absolutely perfect. With my luck he was probably gay.

What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn’t here to pick up guys. I was here trying not to get arrested. My brain knew that, but all my girlie parts were screaming something else entirely. There was no security guard in sight . . . maybe, just maybe . . . No, absolutely not. I couldn’t take the chance of going back to jail. It wasn’t a parking violation; it was a restraining order, for shit’s sake. But if I didn’t show myself, there was no way my future husband would notice me. I was covered up like a fashion-impaired nun. Maybe I could remove the disguise just for a minute . . . make eye contact, ask him to marry me, and then finish what I came here for. No, wait, maybe I’d deliver the package first and then tackle him to the ground and have my way with him . . . No, wait, what if he left while I was delivering the goods? And what if I got arrested before he noticed I was alive? Jesus Christ, I needed to get laid. This was the second stranger I’d considered marrying in two days and I’d only seen the other one’s butt.